Sunday 5 June 2016

My Local Shopping Centre Go's John Carpenter Style

I was walking through my local shopping centre "Bootle New Strand" in Sefton.

As i'm walking Out the exit i stopped and walked back in (ber in mind you would Never see this if your walking in) And i bet most of you probably haven't Ever even noticed it walking out..  But your brains subconscious will have read it, your Kids will have read it. I couldn't believe i had read it correctly and actually felt the need to walk back in and look at it.

As you walk out, around 30 foot above you painted in the corner just enough to get the corner of your eye subliminally on the wall is the phrase..

Who ever said money can't buy you happiness didn't know where to shop.
(people can assume that's all innocent all they want, but that's certainly not the message i teach Our children, its a total contradiction)  Is that what you all teach your children children?,  IE money is everything.. you just need to know where to spend it?  i bet you don't.
Our kids should not be seeing that & we shouldn't be getting fed it subconsciously neither.

Bootle New Strand In The Hexigon Top Right as you Exit
we teach our children...
Money Can't Buy Happiness

Did sefton council or the strand really approve this slogan for public view?  or did New Look just put it up, who at new look actually thought this was an ok thing to use in such a way.   ¯\(ยบ_o)/¯

This new phrase being Taught to Our Children clearly contradicts something that most parents instil into their children??   I'm totally dumb founded that our children are seeing that message...  (Twisting Can't to Didn't) Like what.. it never used to?, but all that's changed?  Someone tell me this is wrong?,.  Someone restore my fkn faith in humanity and tell me they get exactly where i'm coming from and that they agree this is slogan in public, something i was assume its signed off on and authorised by a council employee.. is just wrong?.
 
I guess most will think i'm mad as usual, but if you've ever seen the John Carpenter movie  They Live.. the moment i saw that writing i was like wtf and had to walk back in.. Genuinely just wtf kinda message is that and where its placed...   Here is a short scene from the john carpenter film released June 23, 1989 that kinda shows WHY that stood out to my eyes like a saw thumb..



If you find any other Morally Ambiguous Quotes  Inside The Bootle Strand Stopping Centre for our kids full attention and the corner of our adult subconscious please snag a picture and note where about it is.


Imagine an advert that said  Age 16.. all that's left between you and sex now is condoms.
And there stands a 65+ year old guy holding a box.. which would seam fine if he had chemist shelves behind him, a dr's white coat on and all that.. rather than a picture frame on a wall and a fuzzy jumper.. because that advert all started with Age 16..  and the dude with the box is 65+..

There is a Lot to marketing, and frankly this method of manipulation is wrong and goes against what we teach our children.

Someone somewhere tell me its wrong.....?

Name and shame some seriously devious ad techniques and lets shame these immoral foookers that twist what we teach are children...

It'll be interesting to see just how many people actually think "Changing" Slogans that remove the pre Instil of moral values (is funny & nothing more) and how many actually can laugh But then also see from a child's perspective, In a child's world, it is clearly one of a stack of Contradictions the system lets them absorb..  I find it funny, but as a writer my self i find this whole thing morally ambiguous to younger people. If a comedian reeled off a load of Genuine Sayings and put a punchline on them all, you wouldn't let your kids listen to it, let alone read it. This isn't the message i want my kids to see until their old enough to understand its Humour over its contradiction.. its only fkn funny to begin with because we know the original saying..

Monday 16 May 2016

Laurie Lingo & The Dipsticks - 'Convoy G.B.' (1976)

Such a classic underrated parody...
The Vinyl is well better than the Live video.. backing singers sound well better produced on the vinyl..

The A Side
VINYL VERSION

 

LIVE VERSION

 

It was a foggy day on the sixth of May In a Scammell haulin' bricks It was just crackin' dawn and I started to yawn Cos I couldn't find any nice chicks. I'd tried Newport Pagnell, Toddington, And even Watford Gap, But after so many eggs and chips, sausage and beans What I really needed was a nap. It's a lonely life, truck driving But it's better than a bike Cos when you're up in the cab, you're the king of the road And it's dead romantic, like. And then I remembered my two-way radio, So I started feelin' better, And I thought "I'll start a convoy" "You know, just like that American feller." [Chorus] Thus began the saga On the M1 Motorway Of the biggest bloomin' convoy Outside the USA. Why not join our line-up? It's completely free. All you need is transport And a current MOT. Convoy! [On the CB] Hello, this is Super Scouse callin'. Anyone out there, come on? Hello, hello, this is Plastic Chicken, go off? That's "come on" - what's your load, Plastic Chicken? Er, well it would have been quick-drying cement, but the rain got in - do you know anyone who wants to buy a three-ton brick? So there we were, the two of us, At the start of something big. There was Plastic Chicken with his brick on wheels, And me in my big rig. With every junction that we passed Others would tag on There was even a London Transport bus "Hey, that's a nice wagon - fares please..." It certainly was an impressive sight, To see us on the road There was vehicles of every shape and size It certainly had growed. Suddenly there was this commotion, There was a circus, and a fair. There was an animal acrobatic act "Ooh look - a bear in the air!" [Chorus] You're listening to the saga, On the M1 Motorway. Of the biggest blooming convoy, Outside the USA. We're half-way through our story, But please don't go away. They're on Spaghetti Junction "We could be here all day..." Convoy! [On the CB] Hello, Plastic Chicken to Super Scouse, gerroff, I mean come in, er, come on - oh, do I have to say this every time? Yeah - have you seen any fuzzboxes? - that's slang for police cars. Er, Jackanory, Super Scouse - that's slang for No! That's Negatory, you berk... Ooh I say, is this a private convoy or can anyone join in? What's your wheels, our kid? Would you believe, a camper...? Spaghetti Junction was coming up So we were bound to lose a few. And sure enough, the fork-lift truck, Disappeared heading up towards Crewe. The combine harvester shred a wheel, And the driver lost control. And a mobile DJ crashed his van, So we ain't gonna play no Soul, 10 - 4. [Chorus] So we end our story, On the M1 Motorway. Of the biggest blooming convoy, Outside the USA. This record is good value, As you can plainly see. It's labelled as a tax disc Though it's a Felony Convoy! [On the CB] Er, Plastic Chicken to Super Scouse, there's a big black limo coming up behind... Er, what about it? Well it's got a flag on the front and a funny number plate - "HRH 1" Mercy sakes, good buddy, you'd better give it the front door and wave her on, like... Will do, Super Scouse, I'm waving her on - ooh look, she's waving back, isn't that nice... Plastic Chicken, do you want to stick it in behind that suicide jockey? What's a suicide jockey? As it happens, How's about... Er, Plastic Chicken, don't you think you'd better change gear for this hill? What's wrong with the gear I've got on, doesn't it look right? Change gear, ram your foot on the floor and change the gear, what you talking about, you don't know how to drive a truck do you, you've no idea how to drive a truck, you're mad... (continue to fade)
The B Side

Monday 4 April 2016

PopEye Probably Eats Fish

I'm Popeye The Sailor Man
And I Cooks Me Fish In A Pan
They Say I Eats Spinach
But That Rots Me Innards
Then I'm Popeye The Farty Man

When Im Popeye The Farty Man
All I Do Is Splatter The Pan
Facebook Ban If I Dare
So I'le Leave It Right There
As The Man With A Fish In Me Pan

#TheRealKirbyLaLa